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At 55, I finally got my first tattoo.

My tattoo honours my three children and the house we live in as a family – Daisy Cottage.

It is something I had thought about for quite a while. In fact, I had planned to get one when I turned 50. Then lockdown happened, and like so many plans, that idea was put on hold.  But when life returned to something resembling normal, I didn’t immediately arrange the appointment.  I got nervous.

What if I didn’t like it? What if it hurt? What would people think? Was I really the sort of person who had a tattoo?

And so, for another few years, the idea remained just that – an idea.  Meanwhile, all three of my children have tattoos. They were considerably less concerned about the decision than I was! 

Then, this summer, something changed.  It just felt like the right time.  So I did it. And, as it turns out, it wasn’t nearly as dramatic as I had imagined.

Which got me thinking about leadership.

Iona’s tattoo depicts the premiership rugby teams she has played for.

How often do we tell others to try something new?

As school leaders, we regularly encourage others to step outside their comfort zones.  We ask teachers to try a new approach.  We introduce new systems.  We encourage colleagues to take on leadership responsibilities.  We talk about innovation, professional learning, evidence-informed practice and continuous improvement.  We tell people that it is okay to experiment – that not everything will work perfectly first time.

But how comfortable are we with doing that ourselves?

Leadership can sometimes create the illusion that we should already have the answers.  We are expected to be confident. Decisive. Knowledgeable.  Yet some of the best leadership learning comes from being the person who doesn’t quite know what they are doing yet.

Getting a tattoo at 55 reminded me what that feels like.

Ailsa’s tattoo has flowers showing love for Dad, Mum and Nana.

Being a beginner again

There is something humbling about being a beginner.  You have questions.  You worry about getting it wrong.  You look at other people who seem much more confident and wonder why you don’t feel the same.  You might even find yourself thinking, “Perhaps I should just stick with what I know.”

Sound familiar?  It should.  Because that is exactly how some of our colleagues feel when we introduce something new in school.  A new curriculum.  A different approach to assessment.  A new leadership responsibility.  A difficult conversation.  A change in pedagogy.  Technology that feels unfamiliar.  Or simply the challenge of doing something differently from the way it has always been done.  Perhaps our experience of being the novice is important.  It reminds us that being uncomfortable doesn’t necessarily mean something is wrong.  Sometimes it means we are learning.

The danger of staying comfortable

There is nothing wrong with being cautious.  Experience matters. Professional judgement matters. We shouldn’t introduce change simply for the sake of change.  But there is also a danger in allowing “I’ve always done it this way” to become our default position.  As leaders, we need to model curiosity.  We need to demonstrate that learning doesn’t stop when we reach a particular position, age or level of experience.  In fact, perhaps the more experienced we become, the more important it is to deliberately put ourselves in situations where we are learning something new.  Because if we want schools to be places where adults learn, we need to be learners too.

What does my tattoo have to do with leadership?

Quite a lot, actually. It reminded me of five things:

1. It’s okay to be nervous. Courage isn’t the absence of nerves. It is deciding that something is worth doing despite them.

2. Experience doesn’t remove the need to learn. Being 55 didn’t make me too old to try something new. Being an experienced school leader doesn’t mean we have nothing left to learn.

3. We need to model what we expect from others. If we want colleagues to experiment, reflect and take sensible risks, we should be prepared to do the same.

4. Timing matters. I wasn’t ready at 50. I wasn’t ready immediately after lockdown. I was ready this summer. Leadership development isn’t always linear. Sometimes people need time before they are ready to take the next step.

5. Sometimes the thing we fear is much worse in our imagination. The anticipation was harder than the reality. How often might that be true of change in our schools?

Lewis’ tattoo is a rose and a thistle to show the countries of his heritage.

So, what’s next?

I’m not suggesting that every school leader needs to rush out and get a tattoo! But perhaps we should all ask ourselves:

What is something new that I’ve been putting off?

It might be professionally significant – taking on a new responsibility, trying a different approach, having a conversation you’ve been avoiding.  Or it might simply be something personal that you’ve always wanted to do.  Because leadership isn’t about having everything figured out.  It is about remaining curious, being willing to learn and having the courage to take the next step.  At 55, I finally took mine.  And, actually, I’m rather glad I did.

Perhaps this year, we should all find our own version of the tattoo.

Something that makes us a little nervous.  Something that stretches us.  Something that reminds us that we are still learning.  Because if we want our schools to be places where people are brave enough to try something new, perhaps the best place to start is with ourselves.

This blog is part of the blog series from Antwis Collaborative – The Leadership Lens.

If you enjoyed this blog, please take a look at the Antwis Collaborative website. Home (antwiscollaborative.co.uk)

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